Strength of the Vagina
You know what you know, and what you don’t know you get to know at the right time. All invention and exploration has happened when great minds explore the unknown to find there all that needs to be known to serve a purpose. The great minds wander into space and discover the light of knowledge, illuminated with wisdom that equips them to venture into distances, exploring investigating newer ways of living; be it a nation discovered, or a technology invented. Everything new is found exactly where it is. The openness to seek is what makes their discoverers scale the heights of immortal greatness.
Ignorance is bliss, yet when knowledge flows in then remaining ignorant is stupidity. When the knowledge comes, then go in and explore, for you search will definitely make you wiser. However, if the knowledge comes to you, and you turn the other way your compliance with ignorance will only enlist you in the directory of fools. And sitting on knowledge, just for the sake of being tagged as intelligent in conversations is even more foolish. Knowledge is the path upon which experience leads you towards wisdom.
Wisdom is deeply rooted within you. All you need to do is keep learning, use your learnings to understand and accept what experience brings to your vision, and then let wisdom, dawn. Wisdom is the gift of Shakti. Wisdom is the fuel of life. The wiser cannot be affected by the storms, and the foolish get washed away by every stormy gust of wind, leave aside an actual storm.
Through life, I have delved deep within to understand the wisdom of every lesson written in my textbook of life. I don’t know where I would wander, but I know my senses would be numbed as the being went into blank space; a space so still and so silent that it would deafen all the noise around. Where is this space? Within, or around? I always thought it was the space that stilled my eyeballs, and expanded the mind. But, now I am more aware that it is the space within. There is a deep cave within protected by the pelvic muscles. The floor of the pelvis is the seat of my Shakti, my wisdom, my power, my strength, my beauty, my creativity, my sensuality, my sexuality.
Shakti is the suppleness of my being, moist and drenched in ambrosia. As long as the oestrogen flows, we experience her presence, albeit ignorantly. She is always there, even though we are ignorant of her presence. She drives us through life. She brings to us creative inspiration when we seek it. Her voice sings to us gently the songs of intuition relayed from the Universe. She gathers all knowledge and stores it in cup of our sacral chakra. She brings to our awareness what gives us pleasure, and what is everlasting happiness. She warns us against danger, and celebrates us when orgasmic. She nurtures the foetus, and empowers us to protect ourselves and all those who belong to us.
As long as we are lubricated naturally she functions in full bloom. But when the oestrogen levels begin to reduce, drying our cave, the floor that seats her begins to collapse, and things get complicated with embarrassing urinary leaks. Medically this is termed as urinary incontinence. Metaphysically, in realm of spiritual understanding this is when we allow the hormonal turbulence within to overpower our Shakti and get inundated by the storms of emotions.
Remaining in ignorance complicates matters even more. Ignorance weakens the power of Shakti, and knowledge with awareness empowers our Shakti to guide us to conquer the situation. Strengthen her fortress and she will rule your life; allow her fortress to collapse and she will be overpowered by the demons of crazy emotions.
While strengthening the pelvic floor does heal the urinary continence problem, it also returns the being to a state of confidence, happiness, stability and creativity.
I started experiencing urinary continence, and I knew that exercising the pelvic muscles will definitely nip the problem. But, my problem was that I did not know where and what was the actual function of the pelvic muscles and the pelvic floor. I till then had taken my vaginal area for granted, knowing it is the hole from where elimination of toxins happens, and also orgasms are experienced. Urinary Tract Infections called for cures, followed by preventive measures. But never did I harness my attention on the insides of the cave.
So, it was time to dive deeper and seek knowledge understanding this part of the body that I had taken for granted. It was calling for my attention, and I had to tend to it. So, one morning during my aqua-therapy session I told my Physiotherapist about my urinary incontinence issue. She told me start doing kegels. I told her I read up about kegels, but I was not experiencing any improvement.
Then I sheepishly asked her, “Where exactly is my pelvic floor? How do I know I am strengthening it?” I was a bit embarrassed asking her, what I thought was supposed to be common knowledge. Well, she ignored any signs of embarrassment that I probably reflected upon her, and guided me to know where my Shakti is seated.
“Stand straight, and become aware of your vagina. Then as though sucking air from the vagina, tighten the lips, drawing them upwards. Where the lips of your vagina touch within is the pelvic floor. And the sucking in of the lips is the kegel exercise, or as we are taught in yoga, “the Bandha.”
Alright so now I know the right way of doing the exercise. But I believe that full results of anything done is when it is done a 100%. This means building a rapport with my vagina, the pelvic floor and its muscles, and finally meeting my Shakti. The joy of doing something, is doing it a 100 per cent in the present moment.
So, kegels became my new meditation practise. I would meditate on the lips of the vagina, and as I pulled the lips inwards, I would take my awareness to the pelvic floor and muscles, and seated there I would meet my Shakti.
My Shakti is so beautiful, radiating a glow that illuminates her very being. She is so gentle, and blushes as though wine has been poured on her cheeks. She gracious and welcoming, compassionate and loving. My Shakti is powerful and extremely supportive, always ready to serve the needs of others. She finds peace in creativity, and her voice is so soothing that she can intoxicate anyone with her knowledge. Her consciousness is so expansive that it envelopes the cosmos, for that is where her actual dwelling is. My Shakti is a seeker, always triggered into a state of excitement when something new is told to her. She explores the depths to learn more, and spread the knowledge far and wide. My Shakti is generous, vulnerable and yet invincible. My Shakti is detached, and yet empathetic.
My Shakti is protected by the gates of my vagina – the lips that are always shut in honour of her purity. The lips are shut to protect her every secret. The lips are shut to honour her royalty. The lips are shut to guard her from harm. The lips are shut to conserve her from abuse. Her lips are shut to shelter from the those who want to shame her. Her lips are shut to safeguard her from the toxic guilt harbingered by the intellect. Her lips are shut so that her power and strength is not polluted by those who dishonour their own Shakti, by attempting beastly to destroy another’s Shakti.
All my life, through the regulated menstrual cycles I took her presence for granted. I thought the wisdom I gained through my internal travels was reflected upon my being by an invisible divine intervention. I took for granted her fortress and immersed myself in orgasmic pleasures, without paying heed to her possible presence. Yet my Shakti sat upon her throne, as a mother observing me live the life I chose to live, ignorant of her presence.
I have no regrets, for ignorance cannot be regretted, but wiped out when knowledge dawns. And now the menstrual cycles are coming to an end, she calls for my awareness, attention, caring, compassion and presence. She calls out to me, urging to fix the damage I have caused to her fortress. When I reached out to seek forgiveness for my ignorance all these years she simply said, “I cannot forgive that which is not consider a sin or mistake or accident. For if in awareness you err, then forgiveness is what you seek. But if in the space of ignorance you conduct yourself, doing no harm to anybody, anything, any organ of the body, then there is nothing to forgive. However, now that you have come into knowledge, you have the choice to feign ignorance, or delve deeper into knowing, experiencing and gaining the wisdom I share with you. That is your choice.”
From the moment we are born we learn about ourselves through the eyes of our parents, teachers, guardians, peers, etc. Our world teaches us about ourselves, and we form our identities based on the reflections of their personalities that they project upon us. We grow up in the shadow of other’s projections. We identify ourselves with them. We know ourselves in the light of their personalities. When we begin to explore our bodies, we are shamed and stopped. We are clothed, we are covered, we are not made to face the mirror and embrace our nakedness. Nakedness is considered shameful, as they feel it will pollute our minds.
But, as the forties move into its mid-term and the menstrual cycle is irregular and the body zones into the peri-menopausal stage, it is an opportunity to discover the self, beginning with fortress of the being; entering through the cave opening at the vagina and travelling into the pelvis castle. Shakti is there waiting for you to discover her, so that you can reinvent your self, based on the experiences and knowledge gathered from infancy right through the years of youth. The storms of this phase come to take you to the calmness settled on the pelvic floor. Resist the storms and it will persist with more strength. Flow with the gusty winds and you’ll be carried into the arms of your Shakti, where you will find who you are. You will find peace in the intimacy you share with your Shakti.
We are taught to look down upon our intimacy. The vagina is considered temptation and the root of sin. It is from where you eliminate toxins. It is where pleasure exists. It is the seat of lust, they claim. How ignorant! The polluted mind of so-called religious intelligentsia projected the toxicity of their mind, intellect, ego and made the flower of life a thorny bush to be used, to be torn, to be tortured, to be ruined, to be hurt, to be put to shame. To be cast into the shell of obliviousness covered by cloth not to protect it, but blind temptation, and keep shame and guilt guarding it from seeking pleasure, which is its right.
Intimacy, is another word for familiarity, closeness, tenderness, etc., and yet it is made to connote as something to be enjoyed only in the most private confines within four walls. This is not to say that the warmth of intimacy should be an act for public display, but it definitely cannot be an act of shame. The act of love making, or sex is a ritual that culminates in procreation. It is a ritual that binds two, to realize the oneness of their being. The act is about the union of two souls.
The vagina is the mouth that allows conception and birth to happen. It is the cup of life. Yet, unfortunately it is considered the goblet of lust. It is the seat of passion, and yet it is considered the forbidden fruit of poison. It is the cave of wisdom, and yet it is considered the palace of corruption. It is the birth place of creativity, and yet it is considered as the burial ground of sensibility.
While in medical dictionaries, the “vagina” is respected as a part of the body and is given respectful terms such as: genitalia, pudenda, clitoris, hymen and labia. Outside the medical fraternity, it has many more names that vulgarises its identity, renegating it to be the body’s shameful part. In vulgar slang it is: cunt, pussy, twat, snatch, honeypot, punani, muff, tail, fanny, quim, minge, clunge, box, beaver, jelly roll, cooze, pum-pum – all words shown as cuss-arrows to shoot the ego of another. As a cuss word the vagina synonyms are used to connote cowardice, slyness, cunningness, and the like.
What a shame! The strongest part of the body is considered to be the weakest by harshest lot of people, who believe it is a curse. Being woman is being blessed with Shakti to nestle life in and around her.
Just as the body requires nutrition and exercise to ensure health and beauty, so also the pelvic area and the vagina requires exercise, for that matter strength training. My Phsiotherapist, Dr. Sodini at the Aqua therapy centre I go to has achieved a fellowship in vaginal studies. She introduced me to tools that measure the strength of the vagina and pelvic floor and also help exercise this part of the body in order to tone it effectively during peri-menopause and beyond. These exercises are known as kegels. And, interestingly there are tools to help one exercise, as well as measure one’s progress. I feel its much easier doing kegels with the instruments, rather than simply follow a voice on an app. Confession: I did download an app, an practised following it. But ever since my Angellic physiotherapist at the aquacentre introduced me to the biometric pelvic floor exerciser and the vaginal cones, I know I am doing it right. For, when you do it right, things always get better; in this case tighter and firmer.
Until the peri-menopause symptoms set in, I took my Shakti for granted. I knew there is a pelvic floor and muscles, but I definitely lacked awareness of its function. But, when the dribbles start, there is such a rush to fix it. However, before fixing it, you need to familiarise yourself with it. You need to know it well, for it to trust you enough.
During the first session of being introduced to doing kegels with the instruments, realizations dawned. Firstly, from being an intellectual statement, it actually became an awareness, “We take our breath for granted.” Till then, for me the breath was all about the creative inspiration, intuitiveness, detoxification that happens with every exhalation. That session made me realize how the breath is the fuel for every organ, muscle, joint, ligament, every cell of the body. Awareness of the body takes the breath to that part. Where the breath does not reach, it begins to deteriorate and get dis-eased, one way or the other.
Such was the situation with the entire Shakti palace within. While Shakti subtly nudged me through life with her strength, power, courage and wisdom, I took her for granted, and ignored the maintenance of her palace. It was now collapsing, and creating a storm of emotions, just like that. There had been such a disconnected from her abode that tightening the core and lifting the pelvic floor would actually block the breath from flowing. What a shame!
So, the right way of doing kegels and repair the walls of your Shakti’s abode is to breathe while tightening the core and pulling the pelvic muscles up. The breath has to flow through the palace, in order to repair it, as well as maintain it.
When a break down happens, it is an opportunity to unlearn the old ways and with awareness imbibe the right way. The blissful ignorance of the value of the pelvic muscles weaken the fortress over time. Knowledge brings awareness, and where awareness is, the breath flows strengthening that which has been weakened.
Where the breath reaches, health is. Where the breath does not reach, un-health happens. Fixing and repairing of anything can happen when done with awareness. Breath is the instrument of awareness.
I took for granted such an important part of my body, and yet when I turned to it, it welcomed me warmly and has helped me help it to fix it.